...every other time

so it's christmas again and well no i'm not really feeling the spirit of it really.

well yes there's christmas songs in the malls, the decos and everything but nah not really in the spirit of it all.

yes i'm losing touch again.

i'm losing touch of The One i need, walking away from The One that taught me how to walk, rebelling from The One who protects me and trying to find my own strength instead of depending on my Father.

i have, just to simply put it, lost touch!

i am not proud of this, not pleased in any way, but am just trying to pick myself up once again and continue running because right now i just feel like staying here and not get up.

but i know my Father has other plans for me, plans for me to get up and walk again, plans for me to leave the past behind and run forward.

and i know He loves me and he has my whole life planned out.